This Is Ryan Ross Champagne

This Is Ryan Ross Chandelier

This Is Ryan Ross Ginger Bread House

This Is Ryan Ross Cow (and my awesome picture)

This Is Ryan Ross Hairspray

This Is Ryan Ross Lamp

This Is Ryan Ross Mannequin

This Is Ryan Ross Pinapple

This Is Ryan Ross Nature Lady Statue

This Is Ryan Ross Hat Lady Statue

This Is Ryan Ross Mini Christmas Tree-

This Is Ryan Ross Train

I look forward to more oppertunities to share This Is Ryan Ross photos with you. I will just have to remember to keep my creepy little doll wig on my person at all times. Until then- Have a happy new years.

This Is Ryan Ross

(Of course- everyone remembers it)

And we all remember his interview with MTV News:

"I planned the whole thing!" he laughed. "No, [the photo was taken] a couple of weeks ago - I do remember, believe it or not. I'm not gonna tell you whose house it was at, but yeah, there was a party the night before, and I slept on the couch, and we took a picture. I didn't even really know [the cocaine] was there."

Well, I know who's house it was at. I was on YouTube in my english class last week and I stumbled upon a most reveiling video.

Looks like Michael's got some 'splainin to do.....

It was Michael that threw the party. It was Michael who invited people that do coke. It was Michael that didn't stop it.

Now, I really really REALLY like Michael's music and wouldn't want to victimize him but I would just like to point out that it wasn't Ryan that should be blamed for the coke picture, it's Michael. And since Michael's fan base is a small percent of Panic's- I fee fine saying this, knowing that he doesn't have any dieheart fans that will read this and die a little inside.

P.S.

Today after hearing the news about Andy and Nick, I Tweeted them congrats and guess what I just got and hour and a half ago!!!!!!!!!!!!

I died, no joke. I was literally shaking and... Oh god. A member of The Young Veins sent me a direct message on Twitter. Oh Glory!

Anyways: Here are some Picture Updates:

Nick Murray:

Andy Soukal:

Jon & Cassie (Being Adorable):

Jon's Basement/ Veins Practice Area:

I'm a good kid. I always do my homework. I do well in school and always try my hardest. I do things when I'm asked. I do things with out being asked. I never ask for anything. The last thing my mom bought for me in a while was dinner. I basically live like a monk almost. I bought my guitar with my own money. I bought my camera with my own money. I NEVER ask for anything unreasonable. All I do is give my parents the upmost respect and love. I'm not fussy. I don't act out. I don't lie. I mostly home anyways. I don't expect much in return. Al I want to know is that my parents love me and appreciate me. Well, they got half of it down.

I dropped my phone Friday morning. It always falls. This time when I turned it back on, the screen was just black. The keys worked but I couldn't see anything. I showed my mom and she was upset. I showed my dad and he wasn't happy. I told them I was sorry. I can't use the phone- it just doesn't work. I only know my mom and the house's number by heart. I can recognize some other numbers but that's it. So my dad and mom went to the AT&T store today. They didn't ask me to go so they told me to babysit my little sister, she's 4, I babysit her all the time, free of charge. They came back 2 1/2 hours later. They had my mom's old phone in hand.

Let me explain this sinario. My mom didn't like the service on her old phone which was with AT&T. She got a Blackberry from Verision. She hated it. It was too difficult to figure out. So she went back 2 weeks ago to AT&T to get an iPhone, she loves it. I love it too. I've been asking for an iPhone for like.... 4 months now. So, yea. Explained. Anyways, she kept her old phone which was terrible and falling apart and the reason she was getting bad service. She liked it's alarm capabilities.

I just asked them calmly, "Am I getting mom's old phone?" and they were like, "Yup." My dad put my SIM card in it and put in upstairs to charge. I had some Halloween candy and carved a pumpkin and helped the community park put up some decorations and then came home. At around lunch I asked my mom, "Just wondering but, why couldn't I get an iPhone?" She told me, "Michele, you weren't being careful with your phone and this is what happened." I told her, "But mom, I just don't see why I can't have the iPhone, I've offered to pay for the monthly package fee." She just said, "Christmas is coming!" and not in the cheery way. Yea, Christmas is coming, in two months.

I went upstairs to get my mom's.... I mean my phone and opened it up. I checked my messages and closed it. I hate this phone. I hated it when my mom had it. Everyone hated this phone. It literally is the suckiest phone ever. It's thickness it about 1/2 of your thumb. Awful. I got a message and it whispered let me be your hero.... (Inrique Iglesias song). I swalloed a HUGE lump in my throat. Then I opened the phone to see the message and the front cover literally popped off. I lost it. I smacked my head down on the counter and cried for a good 3 minutes. I hate this phone.

I decided to change the ringtone so it was less horrble. I found a Family Guy one on YouTube where Peter sings this funny song. I felt a little better. I went to the counter and layed my head down. My mom walked in the room and saw I was sulking and she said, "What's wrong?" I told her, "May I ask you why I had to get this phone? I've been wanting a new phone for a while now and I've had my old one for almost two years and when Johanna's broke she got a new one." (Johanna= sister) She told me, "Michele, there are kids out there your age that don't even have phones." I was getting upset. I said, "Well that obviously isn't our situation!" We're getting our house removated. The kitchen, the bathrooms, the living room- it isn't cheap, we can afford things. I just don't know why this could possibly be the delema. Oh, by the way. When my dad and mom came back from the store, my dad had gotten an iPhone. He had the SAME PHONE AS ME and he got a new one. So my mom was like, "So just because we have money, you think you should get an iPhone?" and at that moment, I was just done. I told her, "That's not what I'm trying to say at all and you know it. Nevermind. I guess you just don't see it my way." I walked upstairs, closed my door, layed on my bed and cried. I settled down after 5 minutes and then IT started to ring. I burst out crying again.

I'm not being a brat to my parents for giving me a stupid phone. I was a little ticked at first about the phone but that really is just the flemmy layer that has been sitting on top of the sour milk for 10 hours. The real reason I am upset is because they don't show me they appreciate me. That sounds bad. They don't let me know that what I do for them everyday is nice and that they love me and are grateful that I do it. I don't need them to buy me a thankyou card everytime I do something nice for them. I just thought that if I asked for one big thing, like this phone they'd think, "You know, Michele deserves this phone. She does so many things for us and she's a good kid." But no. They need to wait for a major holiday to buy me things. I feel under appreciated. I don't smoke. I don't drink. I'm not on drugs. I don't wear scary make up. I don't even get allowance! I just thought that maybe I was worth buying something nice for. Maybe I deserved a nice phone. Maybe I am good enough for a nice phone. Well in their eyes, I'm just doing as told and it isn't necessary for rewarding such acts. Sorry. I didn't get the memo.

"I don't like to lead a life filled with hate or resentment but I am feeling a little overwhelmed with the bad stuff today. I am thinking about the words "I am sorry".

This is a phrase that is overused in our daily lives. We bump into people on the street, fall on them on the subway, bump their carts in the store and we are sorry. We forget someones birthday, forget someones name or forget to email back right away and we are sorry. We miss a payment, miss a flight or miss an appointment and once again we are sorry.

We make promises we don't keep.
We forget to call back.
We lie.

And all of these things can be fixed with a simple "I'm sorry". The kicker is that most of the time, this lame explanation comes without any growth or substance from the guilty party. It is simply a way to get out out of being the bad guy. The sad thing is that a mistake is supposed to be something we learn from. We are all human, we are all going to make both big and small mistakes, but to me "I'm sorry" means, I DID NOT realize at the time that this would hurt/upset/cause stress for you and I regret that it happened and I will do my best to not do this thing again. It makes me seriously bummed when I see people making the same mistakes over and over again in life and expecting me to always accept their apology. "Sorry" was never ment to be your trip past go to collect 200 bucks and start the circle again. It is supposed to be starting point for a change in behavior.

This week I heard a song that made me want to puke. It is funny because we were just speaking about NYC and how great it is, and my old building and my old hangouts that he seems to frequent now, laughing, being silly and being friends. It felt great. I felt great. Hanging with all my bests here on tour and having them gush over the awesomeness that is holding my hand these days. Everything is exactly where is needs to be. Then I hear this song, and I cannot help but feel like I have been made the biggest fool of yet again. It is bad enough to make a fool of me, expect that a simple "I'm sorry" will fix it...but hearing a peppy, upbeat pop song about something that caused me huge amount of pain is a little disheartening. I don't think I like being a muse anymore.

I am a accepting enough person to write and say
"So, The other girl? not my favorite song ;/"
to which I get a
"oh yea. I'm sorry"

You're sorry? Well that's wonderful, but I don't want apologies. I feel like I have been pretty cool throughout all of this. Other girls would have burned your house down. When "I'm sorry" is a staple of your vocabulary is becomes useless. I want a change in behavior, a change in your character, and I know that is impossible to ask of you because I know you too well. This is who you are, this is how you are, and I'm not supposed to try and change that. I'm accepting you as YOU, and moving on.

I guess the lesson here is to be impeccable with your word and if that word is "SORRY" then make sure that you fix your mistakes. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Always."

And I was like, HOLY CRAP! Not only did she post this, she also posted a picture that almost made me throw up from sadness.

Let's just skip the explanation of who this text is from to save time- it's quite obvious.

First thoughts for me:

•HOLY CRAP

•That's a TEXT from RYAN ROSS to Keltie

•I'm going to be sick, this is so sad

•It's really late on a Wednesday night but I can't possibly think of sleeping now that I just read this on my iTouch- computer on again!

•This isn't fair to Ryan

•Wait a sec, "The Other Girl" is about his infidelity? Whoa, I'm slow.

"The Other Girl" is the 2nd song that The Young Veins have released but it's not on their MySpace. They played it on Alex Greenwald's friend's radio show.

The main lyrics of the song are:

Don't wait around for love
You're not what he's thinking of
When he's with the other girl

Don't bother waiting up cause he
He's not where he's supposed to be
When he's with the other girl
When he's with the other girl

You, you were right
I was wrong,
Like I always am
And you always are

Don't have much to say right now
Cause I'm trying to figure out
Why he's with the other girl

Life is not a fairytale
They will send him straight to jail
Where he'll die and go to hell
With the other girl
With the other girl

I guess I'm over the whole break up and the reasons why they did break up. I don't know. It's just like, wow. It's real again. I guess I forgot about it. I thought of it as an action in the past, not something that continues on to today- where it's effecting people directly and indirectly. Keltie needs to catch a break. I wish that just for once, things would be 100% for her. She needs support now more than ever. I hope she's going to be okay- she truely is going through a lot. ♥

And I was like, "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!" (And I hate saying OMG because it makes me sound like a megga Teeny-Bopper but it's like 12:30 on a Tuesday night and I'm like "La la la"). Ryan is FOLLOWING KELTIE. This is recent obviously because she's at the top of the list. So I clicked on her page and guess what I saw?!?!?!?!?!?

And then I was like, "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!" She's following him back!!! AND THEN guess what I saw?!?!?!?

And I was like, "YAY!!! Yawn. *Fall Asleep Due to too much excitement this late*"

When I finally came to, I opened the link and I went "AWWWWWWWWWWWW".

Of coarse, EVERYONE remembers the good 'ol times when... well, this picture will jog your memory...

(He's a Native at heart)

So this made me VERY happy that she is able to put her feelings aside to share a beloved inside joke with him. It warmed my heart and raised by incredibly low blood pressure to normal just for one moment that I didn't feel like an amphibian. I'm happy that he doesn't resent her for making his infidelity public beezwax too. Love is good but friendship is great.

(Okay. I'm positive that a baloon that I have in my room just blew kisses to me. I'm getting scared)

OH. And by the way. Who's excited for The Young Veins' new album? I AM! I wish I lived in New York....

(Butch Walker sound familiar? Butch Walker= Open Happiness)

If anyone goes, will you keep an eye out for Misha Barton? Keep a camera in hand and TMZ's phone number in the other is she even gets CLOSE to Ryan. Misha= Poser. Don't understand what I'm talking about? CLICK HERE.

(Start from the bottom up)

I kinda knew that in the back of my head that Zack would never give away Bden's address. I mean, HELLO. His job is to protect Bden from any stalker fangirls/ guys that want to attack him. I looked up the address anyways. I had to make sure. I mean, what if?

Brendon's "Address"

Yea, apparently Brendon lives above the Los Angeles Fight Club. LOL.

So I felt stupid, and like a stalker, because to some extent, I am. I mean, I typed in an address to see if there was a legit house there (which I would later take pictures in front of when I visit LA). Okay, Creepy.

I love Bden and Zack. They're amazing and hilarious. Their personalities extrude from their tweets- it's incredible. They're both very unique special people.

i ♥ bden & zack

Mmmmmmhhhmmmm. I don't know if this was intentionally directed at Ryan fans or whatever but it's so obvious.

"Some people never change, they just stay the same way...."

I guess she is entitled to respond to the song. I would assume that it is about her. I kinda thought she already had her say about the whole thing for 7 months. When Ryan sings this song one time, she still has to get the last word. She's obviously still hurting. I wish that things had gone differently. I think Keltie is fearless (her word lol) and is amazing. I just wish she'd be more honest with herself.

Ryan Ross's Hair. The wig looked exactly like Ryan Ross's hair. I started to laugh. I remembered the picture of Ryan's friend on Twitter (Don't remember who it was, they changed their picture).

I think I have the same wig as this guy. ^^^

***EDIT: I found the guy. It's Chris Bletzer***

So an idea was implanted in my brain. I would find Ryan Ross in the strangest of places. I would take my wig places and turn objects measuring 6 inches in width into my favourite guitarist.

Here's what I got so far:

LOCATION: My Room

DATE: 9/7/2009

This Is Ryan Ross Candle

This Is Ryan Ross Foot

This Is Ryan Ross Hairbrush

This Is Ryan Ross Hand Puppet

This Is Ryan Ross Kowala

This Is Ryan Ross Teddy Bear

Not too exciting but the project will blossom and will be pretty interesting. I'll just update this post everytime I get new pictures. Comment Suggestions If You Like.

This Is Ryan Ross